Monday 13th September

Countdown. Another day of meetings - meetings with social workers, clinical nurses, pain consultants, calls to the Marsden and back again and we are inching slowly nearer Alleyn Road. The pharmacist has spent the afternoon trawling through the three page drug chart that is going to become my bible and ordering and ordering and ordering. Scenarios are talked through and prepared for, future symptom control outlined and planned and the combined time, effort and professionalism invested in us by a cast of thousands is humbling.

We spent our year of chemo at UCH and the Marsden dreading every infection that catapulted us into Kings - now I'm not sure I ever want to leave. We are so safe here - safe from coping with the fear and pain of Rose's disease alone, safe from the outside world, safe from me giving the wrong dose of the wrong class A drug... I will be so embarrassed if they go to all this trouble for us and I am back within a day because I am completely out of my depth.

Things that are good about leaving hospital:

We will all be together
The food is better at home - occasionally
No night nurses asking me if Rose would like pain relief when we are both asleep
Alcohol is much more readily available

Things that are not good about leaving hospital:

None of the doctors or nurses appear to be coming with me