Wednesday 18th August

Radiotherapy is over and we have been back on the island for a couple of days - all together now with no more interrruptions, hospitals, alternative holidays or sunshine but who cares. Felix is sailing and Rose and I are buying up the island's Sylvanian Family population and new dvds. Today she is grotty - there seems to be an ever decreasing line between being in pain and therefore miserable or dosed up on morphine and therefore miserable. Still windows when the pain gives her a break and we can go and do something fun - but it's more about creating fun for Felix. This morning I dropped Felix and Simon off to play golf while simultaenously handing Rose sick bowls in the car - morphine, empty stomach, no appetite, vicious circle etc etc.

But later we take a stroll to the beach with the dog to watch Felix sailing in the harbour, collect shells and look at the lifeboat and I am so grateful that we have this beachy hideout this year of all years. I have more plans and things I still want to do with her here than I have days left - I am going to run out of summer soon. But there are still blackberries to be picked on the Downs, marshmallows to be toasted on beach bonfires and lots more pottery to be painted. Living in the moment and grateful for every minute of it.