Friday 9th July

8am we meet Tim Briggs and our Stanmore nurse Chris Henry at the hospital in Bolsover Street where so many leg scans have taken place. They are calm and supportive and respectful of our wishes. For the first time we talk about Rose's quality of life and take a realistic look at her chances -finally after more than an hour all talk of surgical heroics and last-chance chemo is shelved. Rose is going to live for as long as she can with all the palliative support available but no-one is fooling anyone any more with talk of cure or miracles. I feel closer to them both than to just about anyone in the world apart from Simon during that meeting. What a journey we have all been on in the last two and a half years and we are acutely aware we are but one of their patients. What a hideous job. Briggs is more frank than he has ever been with us - describes her original tumour as massive and the fact that it didn't come back in her leg as staggering. He is an amazing man - and a father through and through. He will always be to us the hero that saved her life and her leg and gave us precious time with Rose. He told Rose years ago that they were going to grow old together which she has never forgotten and the fact that they're not is no one's fault. The chemo failed, the cancer is aggressive and so much more research and funding is needed into this bastard of a disease.

We leave at ten absolutely exhausted and drive like lunatics to get to Crystal Palace park where Rose is performing the Big Dance with her whole school. We don't know whether this is her last morning at school ever.