A very tenuous grip on normality this weekend - Rose had a HUGE fall on our stone kitchen floor yesterday morning. One second she was happily making brownies and singing Christmas songs balanced on one leg and one crutch and the next she had slipped and was down hard on her right side taking all her weight where her prosthesis meets the top of her femur. Ohmygod. All the ensuing screaming and panic took us all straight back to when she first broke her leg through the tumour and within seconds we were almost all in tears - she is very, very frightened even a day later and convinced that she has broken it again. She hasn't of course but she may have dislodged the prosthesis, she is in loads of pain and without an x-ray we have no idea what she has or hasn't done. Aaaggghhh - we thought we'd seen the last of Stanmore until after Christmas but this may not be the case. Torn all weekend betweeen wanting to put her straight in the car and go up and hoping that perhaps it will just go away. Short term sticking plaster has been plenty of nurofen, codeine and reassurance but if it doesn't settle we probably will have to go back. Realising that life is going to be shuttling between home and Stanmore and home and the Marsden and that the new normal is taking sudden emergencies in our stride. Also realising that I am absolutely crap at this.
All I want for Christmas is two weeks at home without a crisis - I thought we were on the home run having escaped the Marsden on Friday after a straightforward day. Nothing untoward - just an audiology test, clinic with our oncologist, the big weigh-in (24.6 kilos yay) - and the fabulous novelty of going to hospital and LEAVING again. We walked from daycare to the ward to see Rose's old friends - bizarre to realise it all still goes on without us, that other children are still mid-treatment, that they will be in-patients next week and that we were so lucky to have got done and finished and out by Christmas. So please please please Rose throw us all a break and stay out of hospital till January...
The mood if not the pain was lightened today anyway by a lovely Christmas visit to London from our Devon cousins. We mugged them for our presents and drank lots of champagne just in case we don't get another chance! No idea what to do tomorrow yet - Rose is asking for Stanmore because she's frightened and wants reassurance, I'm a bit the same, Felix is desperate not to go in case Christmas disappears from under our noses and Simon is not committing until the morning. So at least we're all agreed on a plan of action.
